Im reading this book called "Stick Figure" by Lori Gottlieb. It is pretty good, even though it is written by an 11 and a half old girl. It is all of her journals compiled into a book. See... her mom was a bit of a quack and a bunch of other stuff happened and it made her think she was fat, then she became anorexic. It just tells about how she thinks of herself and how she goes to psychiatrists and then ends up in hospital. Im almost finished with the book. Then I bought another book called "Unholy Ghost: Writers on Depression", so those will keep me busy for the time being.
  I went to the Child and Family Services today, and I had to talk to this one guy. He seemed really nice, and really talkative. He is going to try this new thing they have that is supposed to teach my brain something. It sounded interesting. I just hope it works. So, I go back there next Wednesday.
  I finally told my mom that I haven't been going to the art class I told them I was going to, although today I just said we didn't have class. I can't handle the class, and the professor is so mean, he doesn't know how to explain crap. I even rated him on ratemyprofessors.com... His ratings sucked! And what everyone else said was true... I thought I was the only one who felt that way about him. Mom took it well, even though, at one point, I thought she was going to go crazy. She goes "We'll keep this between us, and no one has to know that you aren't going to college." Muahaha, if someone asks how the art class I hate is going, I will have to tell them. Or make a good excuse I guess, but then I would feel bad, especially if people ask in church, and I tell them it is fine, that would be a lie, cuz Im not even going anymore, but I can't lie in church. So what do I do then? Say nothing and walk away? Then the people will probably think Im just stuck up, so I would feel bad about that. I hate not knowing how to act. It is like I feel I have to be sad for the people who know about my depression, but feel happy for the people who don't know about it, but both kinds of people are around me. I don't even know if this thing that the doctor says works for most, actually all so far, of the people cuz my brain just travels at a million miles a minute. I always feel like people have a "hidden agenda". In otherwords, they act like they like me, but once Im away, I feel like they just say stuff behind my back, or they think stuff about me... I don't know why I care. I mean, they have no right to judge me, only God does. For some reason, I just have a hard time accepting the fact that I need not care about what people think.
  I wish I could say a lot more about me on here. First of all, I have a heck of a time expressing myself, even when typing. Second of all, there are people who read this, well some, who, if they personally know me, they would probably flip out and call 911 or something. I should probably write all of that stuff down in a REAL journal.
  That's all for now... Im tired and I have to finish reading my book. TTYL...