I hate college right now. Today in my Art class, we had to start our smearnographs. It is where you take a bullseye drawing (make a dot in the middle of the paper, and draw a circle around it, and then draw another circle around that, and another circle around that, etc etc...) Then you go to the copy machine and move the paper around while it is copying so it makes cool designs and shades. Then you find a landscape picture, or any picture really, and photo copy that. You take tracing paper and trace the general design of the picture, then put it on top of the copied bullseye thing, now called smearnograph, and cut it out according to the shade and lines of the landscape. Then you paste it on the page. It isn't hard, it is just time consuming. I hate it!!! It took me like 3-4 hours to do this thing and Im not even half way done with it, so now Im going to go to college at like 12 tomorrow, even though I don't have to be there until 7, and then Im going to call my friend from church to see if she will help me with this thing. I hope she can bail me out of this, but I feel bad for asking. I could have had it done if I would have been able to copy more smearnograph thingies. ERR!!! I even tried, since the tracing paper is really thin, going into my old HS to copy from the tracing paper to regular computer paper using the light table... but nothing works. I went there for nothing. I hate not having talent. The only reason I like college is because it gives me something to do, rather than just sitting and doing nothing at home.
  I hate having this stupid feeling that I would rather just not be here right now. I mean, yeah, I have SOME friends, but most people just kind of ignore me, especially in college. Some guys made fun of me cuz of all of the stuff I was carrying. I felt dumb. I was kind of carrying a tacklebox full of art supplies, a big black carrying case thingy, and my book bag, that sucked, so I might transfer some stuff elsewhere. When I was in my old HS, I hardly talked to anyone. I just had that "burning" feeling like when you get really mad at someone... and for no reason. I don't think anyone is mad at me, but who knows? I don't know if it is the combination of getting back in the swing of things or just cuz of all that has been happening with my relationships with people. So my day sucked, just plain sucked! But I think I might go to bed, hopefully tomorrow will be better.